Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Episode Two: Meanwhile, The Paolos Argue
Previously on The Amazing Race:
Angelica convinced the babies they needed to do something. The babies did it, causing lots of problems. Angelica laughed at the babies, until it backfired and she got in trouble.
Sorry. That was previously on every single episode of Rugrats.
Previously on The Amazing Race:
Ten familes set out on a race around, well, apparently the Delaware Water Gap. They include (but are not limited to) the Paolo family, a group so dysfunctional they offend Jonathan's senses; the Godlewski sisters, wearing pink t-shirts to support the visitor's locker room at historic Kinnick Stadium; and the Rogers family, a foursome centered around a father tightly wound from repressing his (not unfounded) lust for his daughter's very, very worshipful ass. (Note from their bio at the TAR Website: Daughter Brittany, a former Miss Louisiana, currently works in pharmaceutical sales. Funny. When I was her age, we just called them dealers.)
There was much driving around NYC. and a brief encounter with the Festers (Will we see more former racers? I hope so. I can't wait to see Colin berate a nine-year old girl. A chronologically-nine-year old girl, that is. We've already seen him berate an emotionally-nine-year-old girl.) We also got some driving into eastern PA, a buggy gone awry (as opposed to a Buggy gone awry) with contestants who didn’t stop to help, and Landru got to say "Twee" a lot. Oh, and the unfortunately named Black family, who were, indeed, a black family, were eliminated. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, the Black family's main goal was to show they had what it takes to compete on TAR. Technically, and by the very smallest of margins, they seem to have attained that goal.)
Phil (in voiceover): Who will be eliminated next?
I was going to do a little Abbott and Costello "Who's On First?" riff here, but it didn't turn out to be very funny. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. How does that differ from what I did include? Trust me. It didn't pay off. Even I have some standards.
Some.
Okay, one. But it's a strict one.
So we go to commercial. Now, when I first got into the summarizin bidness, I did the commercials. I thought it was mandatory. I don't anymore though, because, well, Landru and TJ both do it so much better. So I'll leave commercials to them, unless something really jumps out at me.
Like the bump to this commercial break. It's the Highlight Of A Previous Race bump, and the highlight is Chris and Alex racing past Will and Tara to win TAR 2. After watching and rewinding and rewatching and re-rewinding and re-rewatching this clip for about 20 minutes, it was time to get on with the show. (Note to CBS, Bruckheimer, and whoever else might be responsible for DVD release of previous seasons. If all the Season 2 set consists of is the last fifteen minutes where Tara and Will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I'll still buy the set. I'll pay full price for it, too.)
And while I’m talking commercials, does British Petroleum really think it’s wise to use depression era sounding music in its commercials? Or is that just a nudge and a wink to us that they know the next depression will be driven largely by rising fuel costs? And what’s this with Subway pimping a chicken sandwich with what looks to be a deep fat fried chicken breast? I thought they were the healthy alternative.
We open with a brief recap of what happened in episode one. You know, the theme, the plot, the subplots, that sort of thing. Phil then asks us if the Linz family, who came in second to last, will be able to overcome change their fortunes and if the Paolo family will be able to set aside their differences and avoid elimination. If past TAR editing is any indication, we know now that the answer to both questions will be yes.
We start out, heading to York, Pa. Once there our intrepid racers will look for a big shoe.
Insert your own Pee Wee Herman joke here. Or just insert Pee Wee Herman. It's all good.
The Godlewski sisters take off first. According to their bio on the TAR Website, each sister has her own personality. So far, events on the show haven't borne that fact out. The sisters have taken a great deal of pride in finishing first, because they know that they’ve been underestimated.
The Gaghan family is next, and they’ve taken a great deal of pride in finishing second, because they know they’ve been underestimated.
The Weaver family follows, and they’ve taken – wait. They have doubts because of the death of the family father, and the mother doesn’t know if she has what it takes to be a leader and she doesn’t know if the race will help her find that out about herself. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, since the father died, Mama Weaver has had to be both breadwinner AND nurturer. Cause, you know, one person can't do both.)
Allow me to pause for a moment to state for the record that this is the family I like the best. Perhaps it’s a commonality thing, what with her being a widow with two daughters and one son. Perhaps it’s that they seem more genuine about their feelings, less forced. But I like them.
The Rogers family is next, and we see Brock talking about how his father is the leader and no one else has any input. Brock adds that he knows things too, but his father will never listen to him.
This foreshadowing moment brought to you courtesy of Mark Burnett.
Next come the Schroeders, the only German family in Louisiana. Family princess Stasi, She-wolf of the Camps, posits that they came in thinking they knew everything and now they realize there is a lot they don’t know. Youngest son Hunter sits in the vehicle waiting as Papa, Mama, and princess Stasi load the van up. Yeah. The son's name is Hunter, the daughter Stasi. The last name is Schroeder. You draw your own conclusions.
(By the way, according to their bio on the TAR Website, several of Hunter's teammates think he is lazy at times. Hmm. That's some rather interesting wording there. Why not just say his entire family thinks he sucks?)
The Godlewski sisters stop to gas up their van, costing them their first place position. The Gaghans keep going, the kids making faces, the dad telling them it isn’t stupid time. It’s apparent he has never seen the show before.
We are treated to many shots of driving down Highway 30 West. The Schroeder family takes a short cut, revisiting Highway 61. The Paolo family is next to leave, arguing as they do. Mama Paolo talks about the lack of respect she receives from her family and how she wants them to listen to her more because, if she is saying something, it has to be important. W. feels the same way, and I think he is equally passive-aggressive about it. DJ, pride and joy of the family, says his mom drives him nuts. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, youngest son Brian is painfully embarassed by his family. You're not alone in that, Brian. You're not alone.)
The Bransens are next. Dad is a pessimist. The daughters are optimists. Following them are the Aiellos. The son-in-laws are trying to impress their father-in-law. Finally the Linz siblings. They know they need to show they are better than their second-to-last-place finish. Like third-to-last, or, dare they dream, fourth-to-last.
The Gaghan family are the first to arrive at the big shoe. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, Billy is auditioning for the remake of Apt Pupil.) Well, arrive is too strong a word for it. They park their van on the side of the interstate and dad runs down the road, trots up a hill, jumps a fence, climbs the stairs to the top of the shoe, retrieves the clue, and comes back running down the highway. The Gaghan family motto? Safety first!
The Gaghans read the clue, which directs them to DC to the reflecting pool in front of the capital. Once again, basic reading skills will cause many teams many problems.
The other teams arrive in fairly rapid order. Apparently finding a big shoe in York PA is a lot easier than finding an EMS store South of Houston street.
The first four teams, the Gaghans, the Schroeders, the Godlewskis, and the Weavers all correctly identify the need to continue down Highway 30 West and then turn south on Highway 83. The fifth team to arrive, the Rogers family, under the guidance of patriach/navigator heads down Highway 30 East. The remaining four teams also head down Highway 30 West. So, in short, there are eight teams correctly heading down Highway 30 West. There is one team mistakenly heading down Highway 30 East. Hilarity will of course ensue.
We are now treated to a medley of driving shots and people talking. We see whichever Godlewski sister is driving complain about back seat drivers. (Note: I will be very, very upset if sometime this season some driver doesn’t say “If you two don’t knock it off I’m turning this thing right back around.”) We see the Aiello son-in-laws talking about living in Northern Virginia and knowing exactly where the reflecting pool is by the Washington Monument. We then see the Linz siblings noticing that there are two reflecting pools on the map and then checking the clue to see where they need to go.
Meanwhile, the Paolos argue.
Finally, we get the Rogers family, where dad berates son for missing the exit THAT WASN’T EVEN THERE! When son tries to tell him that maybe they went the wrong way, dad instead insists that son has dropped the ball. As we go to commercial, the daughter, former Miss Louisiana and, according to Landru, assfuck princess, posits that perhaps they are in trouble.
There was nothing of note in this set of commercials.
Back from commercials to the Rogers. Dad finally concedes he made a mistake, but he does so by saying that one person can only do so much. Right.
Teams are now arriving in DC. The first two, the Gaghans and the Schroeders, go to the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool. The next two teams, the Weavers and the Godlewskis, are able to correctly interpret their clue.
Remember folks, if you ever make it on TAR: Reading is Fundamental!
The clue instructs them to find a limousine and get a briefcase from an unseen contact. The briefcase contains a clue instructing them to go to the tidal basin. It also contains two pounds of coke that TAR staffed picked up the last time through South America. The contestants don’t know that, however. The Weavers and the Godlewskis find the limousine and head out.
Meanwhile back at the Lincoln Memorial, the Schroeders ask someone if there is another reflecting pool. The friendly natives instruct them that there is another pool at the Capitol. The Schroeders pass the Gaghans, but do not share this information.
Meanwhile, the Paolos argue.
This time it's about gas. Mama Paolo thinks now might be a good time to get gas. DJ, who must die as soon as humanly possible, is driving and refuses to stop. The Paolos make their way to the cluebox, to the limousine, and head out to the tidal basin. Mama is still clamoring to get gas. Or maybe it's that she has gas. I get confused.
The Bransens go to the Lincoln Memorial, as do the Aiellos. The Aiellos, however, look at a map and realize they need to reread the clue. The Gaghans are still walking around.
Cut to the Linzs and the Schroeders finding the cluebox and limo near the Capitol. The Aiellos arrive and complete this particular strenuous task.
We jump to the Godlewskis arriving at the tidal basin. They find the cluebox, and it’s a roadblock.
Phil, in voiceover, tells us that there are 50 people dressed in black with briefcases walking around the tidal basin. Only ten of them, however, are briefcases with the next clue inside. The person performing the roadblock is to walk up to people with briefcases, say “The sky is blue” and, if the person responds “The sea is green,” exchange briefcases with them. This is based on the method the CIA used to get information from “Curveball” regarding Iraqi WMD.
Now, you might think this might be very boring television. But I’m here to tell you that, that, well, that you would be right. Not since the thrilling tea delivery challenge in India has there been such excitement on the small screen.
The Weavers miss the exit, allowing the Paolos to arrive at the tidal basin second. Mama Paolo tells DJ, that he needs to be patient and take his time. The Godlewski sister completes the task as the Weaver family arrives. The clue instructs the teams to go to Lynchburg, VA and head to the Jack Daniels distillery. Or maybe it tells them to go to Middleburg and find a mansion. I get confused sometimes.
The Weavers complete while DJ Paolo is still roaming around. I have a feeling that, based on the footage from the previous day, people are intentionally refusing to exchange briefcases with DJ.
Be that as it may, someone eventually feels sorry for DJ, or just wants him out of there, and responds to the password. He heads back, and the Paolos head out as the Schroeders arrive. Stasi, She-wolf of the Panzers, correctly notes that “The jerky family is already here.” Papa Schroeder, choosing to do the task, proves that at the very least the jerky family is still there in spirit, as he comments that a woman who didn’t acknowledge the password has panties that are too tight.
Meanwhile, back at the Lincoln Memorial, the Gaghans are still searching. The Bransens are also still searching. Papa Bransen is worried that he will let his daughters down. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, the Bransen daughters once appeared together in a Pert Shampoo commercial. And though this isn't mentioned on the TAR Website, I believe they may also have appeared in a movie together. I'll have to "check my collection" tonight.)
The Aiellos and the Linzs are now at the tidal basin. The Schroeders complete the task and head out. It occurs to me that I am perhaps making this far more entertaining than it really is.
Meanwhile, the Paolos argue.
Cut to the Aiellos completing the task.
Cut to the Rogers asking for directions to the reflecting pool, getting instructions to go to the Lincoln Memorial.
Cut back again to the Gaghans. After hours of searching for the cluebox, young Billy proves Fermat’s Blind Squirrel Theorem by suggesting that they actually “ask” someone for information. This ludicrous idea is resoundingly hooted down by the Gaghan parents.
And now: Commercials!
Back from break and back to the Lincoln Memorial. Within short order the Bransens, Gaghans, and Rogers all have light bulbs go off over their heads and they reread their clues. I think I would have done that after I had searched for about, oh, two minutes. All three teams go to the Capitol, find the clue, find the limo, and head to the tidal basin. Meanwhile, the Paolos argue.
We have four teams at the tidal basin: Linzs, Gaghans, Bransens, and Rogers. One by one they complete the task and head out. Nothing interesting happens as they do so. Nothing. I swear.
Well, assfuck princess Brittany jumps up and down. But other than that, nothing.
Meanwhile, the Paolos argue.
Cut to a whole bunch of teams caught in traffic. The Linz read their map and cut out of traffic.
The first teams arrive at Middleburg. They proceed to Wellburn Manor and find the cluebox, which directs them to a battlefield reenactment. It is a detour. Sing with me!
A detour is a choice between two tasks,
Between two tasks
Between two tasks
A detour is a choice between two tasks
Each with its own pros and cons
The choices for the detour are Heat of Battle, where teams need to carry five wounded soldiers off the field of battle, and Heat of Night, where teams need to fill twenty oil lanterns and light them. As the Weavers arrive, the Godlewski sisters are already trying to carry soldiers. The Weavers refer to them as the Desperate Housewives. ABC demands a royalty.
Now, the choice here seems obvious. But it isn’t. Most teams choose to carry five soldiers instead of lighting twenty lanterns. No wonder they had trouble reading clues. The Weavers perform the lantern lighting, and complete it pretty quickly. Shortly behind them are the Linzs, whose strong bodies, lack of brains, and experiences in disposing of the bodies of the sister Megan's ex-boyfriends make them perfect for physical tasks. (Actually, according to their bio on the TAR Website, Megan likes cheerleading AND field hockey. So maybe I should make that the bodies of Megan's ex-girlfriends.)
The Weavers make it to the pitstop first, just ahead of the Linzs. Because of the camera setup, we can see the Linzs coming up the lane behind the Weavers. We then see the Godlewskis behind the Linzs. In fact, it would be impossible to miss another team coming up the lane if it was a close race. Keep this in mind.
We cut back to the battlefield, where the Schroeders are filling lanterns and the Bransens are carrying bodies. As we go to commercial, we see Papa Bransen saying he can’t go on anymore. As longtime TAR watchers know, this indicates that not only will the Bransen family successfully complete the task soon after we return from commercial, but that the Bransens will not be eliminated tonight.
Pardon me while I rant for a second.
There are those who think TAR has jumped the shark. Personally, I used to think that reality shows couldn’t jump the shark. Because the cast is continually changing from season to season, it is possible for a reality show to reinvent itself every time out. And I still think that. But.
What annoys me, particularly with TAR, is that the same editing beats are used over and over and over again. Has there ever been an occasion where we saw someone say just before the last commercial break that they couldn’t go on and have us come back from that last break to find that they really truly couldn’t go on? I don’t think so. That particular editing storyline is always used to fake us into thinking someone is in trouble who isn’t. The same with the opening beat of “Can X do Y tonight?” I say that this is particularly frustrating with TAR because the show is as a whole so wonderfully filmed and edited.
Okay, we’re back, and the Bransens have very little left. They of course complete the task in short order. The Gaghans arrive, assess the situation, and decide to carry bodies. Billy complains that Carissa isn’t doing anything, cause, you know, nine year old girls should be helping carry cots. Billy says he wants to do Carissa's job. When they are older, Billy will want to try on Carissa's clothes.
The Schroeders complete the lantern task and finish fourth.
Meanwhile, somewhere, the Paolos argue.
In short order the Aiellos and Bransens finish carrying bodies, finishing fifth and sixth respectively. The task was a big strain on Tony, the father-in-law, who was reduced to playing the same role Carissa did - watching the other three members of the team carry the gurney. (According to their bio on the TAR Website, Tony is using the race to determine which of his daughter's gets the largest share of his inheritence. Based on what we've seen so far on the show, he might want to speed up making that decision.) The Gaghans finish soon after, arriving at the pitstop in seventh place.
So we’re down to the Paolos and the Rogers. The Paolos get there first, choosing to carry bodies. The Rogers arrive sometime after and start to carry bodies too, until Mama Rogers decides she can’t carry. They move to the lanterns.
We’re treating to a lot of intercutting designed to make us think it’s a close race. It doesn’t seem like it possibly can be, but who knows. It’s made to appear that the Rogers finish lighting the lanterns right after the Paolos finish carrying bodies and that there is going to be a footrace to the finish. But as the Paolos step to the mat, you can’t see the Rogers in the lane. Remember the earlier shots? Had it been close, we would have seen them. But we don’t. And despite the wording of the clue that the last team to arrive might be eliminated, the Rogers are done.
Papa Rogers is talking about how he tries to get Brock not to blame others. That’s a useful strategy, Papa Rogers, when you are the one responsible for the error that cost your team the game, but I didn’t see you taking that tack when you thought Brock had messed up while driving. Brock, on the other hand, talks about how they wouldn’t have been eliminated if his father had listened to him. And he’s right, but that doesn’t prevent him from looking like he is ready to explode, as if the only question left in his mind if whether or not he’ll fuck his totally hot sister and his almost hot mother before or after he kills them. I think we all know which way I’d vote on this issue.
And with that, we are done.
Oh, sorry. Previews. Apparently the show will be back next week, and at that time, teams will go to NASA and the Aiellos get stuck in the mud.
Meanwhile, the Paolos argue. ¶ 10:08 PM
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Well done. And you made me look deeply to find the corpse-fucking:
as if the only question left in his mind if whether or not he’ll fuck his totally hot sister and his almost hot mother before or after he kills them. I think we all know which way I’d vote on this issue.
You sneaky ferret you. Well-played.
as if the only question left in his mind if whether or not he’ll fuck his totally hot sister and his almost hot mother before or after he kills them. I think we all know which way I’d vote on this issue.
You sneaky ferret you. Well-played.
*points up*
Thanks, Goth--I couldn't find the corpse fucking part.
Well done, Speedy Weasel. I think the summaries are going to be more interesting than the episodes this season.
Agree that PeeWee Herman at the giant shoe would have been hilarious!
Agree also the editing is soo predictable & heavy-handed. I thought the first briefcase in a limo was kind of cute (and good call on there being cocaine inside. Very DC.) But then they did a briefcase thing again! What a lack of imagination! They sould have had each team carry 666lbs of pork up the steps of Congress & deliver it to their favorite Congressperson. That represents DC way better than lame spies (to me anyway.)
I'm rooting for the Gag-me family. I was once a semi-precocious, adult-referenced kid too. Go Gag-me's!!!
FTR, Soho is in London, which is north of Houston Street.
Thanks, Goth--I couldn't find the corpse fucking part.
Well done, Speedy Weasel. I think the summaries are going to be more interesting than the episodes this season.
Agree that PeeWee Herman at the giant shoe would have been hilarious!
Agree also the editing is soo predictable & heavy-handed. I thought the first briefcase in a limo was kind of cute (and good call on there being cocaine inside. Very DC.) But then they did a briefcase thing again! What a lack of imagination! They sould have had each team carry 666lbs of pork up the steps of Congress & deliver it to their favorite Congressperson. That represents DC way better than lame spies (to me anyway.)
I'm rooting for the Gag-me family. I was once a semi-precocious, adult-referenced kid too. Go Gag-me's!!!
FTR, Soho is in London, which is north of Houston Street.
The hell?!?!? Lynchburg, VIRGINIA? Did you do that just to make me yelp? Tennesse's finest and most famous export is not made in that practically Yankee state...it's made right here in Lynchburg, Tennessee, and, oddly enough, in a dry county. You must come visit me so I can take you to the distillery.
Other than that almost unforgivable statement, the summary was lovely. I missed the first 15 minutes or so of the show and now I can safely say that I really didn't miss a thing.
Other than that almost unforgivable statement, the summary was lovely. I missed the first 15 minutes or so of the show and now I can safely say that I really didn't miss a thing.
Almost forgot, Lynchburg, Virginia's most famous export is Jerry Falwell and his Liberty University graduates.
1. Nice work. Very nice work.
2. I must note, without mocking your pain, that I have a hard time with a member of this circle favoring the Flanders family. Yes, their life has been a bitch. But they're ungodly stupid, and their run of luck so far has been nothing short of disturbing. There may be a strategery lesson there, but I have to believe that their sub-room-temperature collective IQ is going to come back to haunt them. I have to believe that because I will simply dah if it does not.
3. Highway 61 runs through Schuylkill Haven on its way to Frackville and Saint Clair.
4. The first DC clue directed teams to the Reflecting Pool in front of the Capitol. The reflecting pool in front of the capital is called the Potomac River, depending, of course, on the observer being oriented toward DC, northward from Virginia. The reflecting pool in front of the capital if you're oriented toward DC southward from Montgomery County, Maryland is a puddle on 16th Street. The reflecting pool in front of the capital if you're oriented toward DC westward from Prince George's County, Maryland is a puddle of blood.
5. I am very pleased by the tea delivery analogy.
6. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that absolutely no Civil War battle of the size that would be indicated by the sheer mass of that reenactment took place at Middleburg, Virginia.
7. I'm guessing that the bodies of Megan's ex-boobookittyfucks vary in gender.
8. Not to be difficult or mock your effort, but I must disagree. TAR is badly filmed--the cinematography often consists of about three-quarters of a second of the most interesting scenery rushing by and being ignored by people who are bitching about the smell of the local populace, the quality of the local food, Phil's manmaries, other contestants, or each other's farts. And the editing is, as you point out pretty conclusively in this argument, done by hacks.
9. Thank you very much for using the correct "taking that tack" when describing Big Daddy Gilead's family derogation strategy, rather than the incorrect and really rather ignorant "taking that tact." I salute your grammaraticalicianary prowess.
10. Brock is going to be a very, very troubled young adult. But I must respectfully disagree with you that Mama Gilead is in any respect anywhere in the same universe as "hot," let alone "almost" hot.
11. As for Miss Louisiana Assfuck, I'm going to be a very, very troubled middle-aged adult having to watch this show without her perky little duct-taped (as opposed to the commonly used and totally incorrect "duck" tape) ass taunting me with its every move around the Delaware Water Gap.
12. Um! Yah! Yah!
2. I must note, without mocking your pain, that I have a hard time with a member of this circle favoring the Flanders family. Yes, their life has been a bitch. But they're ungodly stupid, and their run of luck so far has been nothing short of disturbing. There may be a strategery lesson there, but I have to believe that their sub-room-temperature collective IQ is going to come back to haunt them. I have to believe that because I will simply dah if it does not.
3. Highway 61 runs through Schuylkill Haven on its way to Frackville and Saint Clair.
4. The first DC clue directed teams to the Reflecting Pool in front of the Capitol. The reflecting pool in front of the capital is called the Potomac River, depending, of course, on the observer being oriented toward DC, northward from Virginia. The reflecting pool in front of the capital if you're oriented toward DC southward from Montgomery County, Maryland is a puddle on 16th Street. The reflecting pool in front of the capital if you're oriented toward DC westward from Prince George's County, Maryland is a puddle of blood.
5. I am very pleased by the tea delivery analogy.
6. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that absolutely no Civil War battle of the size that would be indicated by the sheer mass of that reenactment took place at Middleburg, Virginia.
7. I'm guessing that the bodies of Megan's ex-boobookittyfucks vary in gender.
8. Not to be difficult or mock your effort, but I must disagree. TAR is badly filmed--the cinematography often consists of about three-quarters of a second of the most interesting scenery rushing by and being ignored by people who are bitching about the smell of the local populace, the quality of the local food, Phil's manmaries, other contestants, or each other's farts. And the editing is, as you point out pretty conclusively in this argument, done by hacks.
9. Thank you very much for using the correct "taking that tack" when describing Big Daddy Gilead's family derogation strategy, rather than the incorrect and really rather ignorant "taking that tact." I salute your grammaraticalicianary prowess.
10. Brock is going to be a very, very troubled young adult. But I must respectfully disagree with you that Mama Gilead is in any respect anywhere in the same universe as "hot," let alone "almost" hot.
11. As for Miss Louisiana Assfuck, I'm going to be a very, very troubled middle-aged adult having to watch this show without her perky little duct-taped (as opposed to the commonly used and totally incorrect "duck" tape) ass taunting me with its every move around the Delaware Water Gap.
12. Um! Yah! Yah!
Most excellent!
Odd that you heard "jerky family" when I swear they said "Jersey family." As if there is a difference.
As for the corpse-fucking: Mom after, Brittany before. Because I suspect she would be quite enthusiastic. And yes, I was hunting for the reference throughout. Some reputation you have.
(Psst... send me the Branson sisters video.)
And while The Amazing Race Incest Edition is certainly less of a show without Little Miss Sweetcheeks, I may one day be called upon to summarize, and I would be deeply saddened if the Paolo family were not along for the ride.
Odd that you heard "jerky family" when I swear they said "Jersey family." As if there is a difference.
As for the corpse-fucking: Mom after, Brittany before. Because I suspect she would be quite enthusiastic. And yes, I was hunting for the reference throughout. Some reputation you have.
(Psst... send me the Branson sisters video.)
And while The Amazing Race Incest Edition is certainly less of a show without Little Miss Sweetcheeks, I may one day be called upon to summarize, and I would be deeply saddened if the Paolo family were not along for the ride.
Actually, Duck Tape does exist and has been sold in home improvement stores like Menards for years. They even have a little picture of a duck on the package, if I recall correctly.
Since it is cheaper than regular duct, tape Miss Louisiana Assfuck could easily buy it in bulk. Duck tape leaves even more of a sticky residue than original duct tape. I'm not sure if this is good thing or a bad thing with regards to ass fucking.
I hope whoever writes next gets to off the Paolos.
Since it is cheaper than regular duct, tape Miss Louisiana Assfuck could easily buy it in bulk. Duck tape leaves even more of a sticky residue than original duct tape. I'm not sure if this is good thing or a bad thing with regards to ass fucking.
I hope whoever writes next gets to off the Paolos.
Great job!
This? is now stuck in my head!
A detour is a choice between two tasks,
Between two tasks
Between two tasks
A detour is a choice between two tasks
Each with its own pros and cons
This? is now stuck in my head!
A detour is a choice between two tasks,
Between two tasks
Between two tasks
A detour is a choice between two tasks
Each with its own pros and cons
Great job dude. *applause*
I'm with the Wheezus, this was much more interesting than the actual show.
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I'm with the Wheezus, this was much more interesting than the actual show.
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