Monday, May 08, 2006
Episode Ten: The Other One With The Easily Telegraphed Non-Elimination
Previously on The Amazing Race:
Something happened. Then, something else happened. Finally, something else happened.
Sorry
Previously on the Amazing Race, no one gave the hippies money besides Fran and Berry and Ray and Yo. Fran and Berry made a small, tiny, comment about their sex life that was completely lacking in detail and it was still more than most of America wanted to hear. As a result, there was much rejoicing when Fran and Berry were eliminated.
At least at my house.
Anyway, who will be eliminated tonight?
I already know the answer, of course. No one. No one is going home tonight. We’re at four teams left, there are three shows left, and there has to be an elimination the week before the two-hour final. No one is leaving tonight. No one.
By the way, you may be reading this before you read last week’s summary. It will depend on several factors. But if you are, please don’t worry and please don’t fret. Last week’s summary will be up soon.
Okay, let’s get this mother started! Eric and Jeremy were the first to arrive, so they are, appropriately enough, the first to depart. The clue tells them to go to Swan Bell Tower, fifteen miles away. There they will take a rifle and start shooting students. It’s the Charles Whitman challenge!
Sorry. Bad taste.
No, at the tower they will find their next clue. The teams all take off in order. MoJo say they heard that Tyler and BJ were going to Yield them for not giving them money. Tyler and BJ say that the word on their t-shirts is their power word. They then play with their action figures for a bit. Finally, Ray and Yo say they are learning and growing.
MoJo are the first ones to the tower. It is closed until morning, and they try to find a place to stay. A local approaches and asks Joseph how much for his woman. Monica laughs but Joe doesn’t find it very amusing. They decide to stay at the tower, the same choice Eric and Jeremy make when they arrive.
BJ and Tyler then arrive, followed by Ray and Yo. The latter hang out by themselves, proving they are the smartest team left in the race. Eric says Ray is on a short leash. Joseph says he is on a short leash. Eric says he doesn’t let Jeremy out of the house. BJ and Tyler note that Eric has been flirting with Monica, and decide to try to stir up trouble to create friction between Eric and Jeremy and Monica and Joseph. Eric helps their cause by telling Monica he wants her to talk dirty to him.
Nice guy that Eric.
Ray and Yo decide to call for a taxi. Tyler and BJ and Eric and Jeremy do as well. Jeremy uses a fake name when he requests the taxi. Eric then makes separate calls back, first as Tyler and then as Ray, to cancel their cab. It’s a Marianoesque move, though coming from Eric it seems far less cool than if Rob had done it.
When the tower opens, Tyler and BJ are the first up. They get a clue which instructs them that they have to fly to a crocodile farm, wade into a pool of crocodiles to get their next clue, come back down, and find no taxi for them. They try to take MoJo’s, but Joe stops them.
Ray and Yo come down and are also taxi-less. They call for another. Eric and Jeremy hit the street and find that their cab also didn’t arrive.
Karma. Ain’t she a bitch?
Eventually everyone gets a cab and is on their way to the airport.
MoJo are first to the airport. They ask the ticket agent to not tell anyone what route they are taking. The ticket agent asks he what it is worth. She says a million dollars, he says “Not to me”. Finally. A ticket agent saying on camera what we’ve always wanted to hear one say. Monica offers a kiss, but the agent isn’t interested. Joseph offers one as well, and the agent considers it, then says no. Tyler and BJ and Ray and Yo arrive and state that someone canceled their cabs. Tyler and BJ suspect MoJo, but they deny it. Instead they confront Eric and Jeremy when they arrive.
Everyone gets on the same flight to Darwin. The plane lands, the teams scramble, and they all arrive at the park in short order just to see the “Open at 9:00) sign. Mo complains about the bugs, prompting Eric to say the bugs are attracted to her. This prompts Tyler to say “Just like Eric”. Eric says he will tie meat around Joe so that the crocodiles attack him. At least I think that’s why he wants to put meat on Joe. It may have to do with the undercurrent of homosexuality in everything Eric does. We cut to a shot of Joe telling Mo he hates the hippies. Also the blacks, the Mexicans, the gays, and those damn wimmen libbers. Mo nods and fixes him a martini.
When the park open, everyone suits up. They are told a list of rules, basically all consisting of “remember, you are in the water with crocodiles”. BJ and Tyler get their clue first and make their way out of the water. The clue sends them to an airfield in Batchelor, Australia.
Insert your own Rose Ceremony joke here.
The clue also tells them that there is a Yield ahead!
MoJo are next to complete the task, and are able to pass BJ and Tyler on the road. Nonetheless, BJ and Tyler are able to outrun Mo and Jo and get to the Yield before they do. They choose to use the Yield on MoJo.
The clue shows that the task is a roadblock. One member of each team has to tandem skydive from a plane. Which is a lot tougher than tandem skydiving from a truck. Anyway, Monica is extremely pissed about being Yielded. She calls BJ and Tyler sleazebags.
Like she wouldn’t have Yielded them if she and Joseph had won the footrace.
Meanwhile, the other two teams arrive. Monica is still complaining, though by now it would be more of a surprise if she quit complaining. Eric chooses to jump for his team, Ray for his. BJ jumps and Tyler seems to enjoy the experience as much as BJ. This prompts Yo and Jeremy to talk about how unique BJ and Tyler are. It also prompts Jeremy to tell us that if Yo were single, she would be his. Oh yes. She would be his.
Dude is almost as deluded as Shane Powers.
BJ lands and he and Tyler get the clue. The clue sends them to the Magnetic Termite Mound of Rebound in Litchfield National Park. As they leave, Mo threatens to hit them. Joe calls her a brat, and the two fight until they finally realize the hour glass ran out. Mo chooses to do the roadblock.
Eric jumps and lands, Ray jumps and lands. Actually, Ray jumps and holds the person he is jumping with tighter than anything Ray has held in his life. He holds him so close he’s behind him. Both teams get their clues and take off.
Meanwhile, BJ and Tyler arrive at the Magnetic Termite Mound’s Coconut Bar. BJ and Tyler make termite jokes while they grab the clue. The task is a detour, and we all know the song by now, right? I don’t have to repeat it?
Sigh.
Okay.
A detour is a choice between two tasks
Between two tasks
Between two tasks
A detour is a choice between two tasks
Each with its own pros and cons
Our choices are Wet and Dry. In Wet, teams drive to another park and swim down a river filled with creepy crawlers until the find the next clue box. In Dry, teams drive to rock cropping, grab a didgeridoo, find the aborigine playing a didgeridoo with an emblem matching the emblem on their didgeridoo, then play a note. Each team member must play the note before they get the clue.
BJ and Tyler decide to do Wet, reasoning that it will be easier.
Right.
Monica finally jumps. They get the clue and take off, Monica still complaining about being Yielded.. Meanwhile, Eric and Jeremy have arrived. They also choose to do Wet. Ray and Yo get their and opt for Dry since Yo can’t swim.
We see shots of Tyler and BJ and Eric and Jeremy trekking through the water. Both teams start second-guessing their decision, saying it is taking longer than they thought. MoJo arrive, get the clue, and choose Dry. Cut to Ray and Yo. They found the didgeridoo player with a didgeridoo that matches theirs. They take turns getting brief lessons, and while it doesn’t sound pretty, they complete the task and take off. They pass MoJo on the way in as they leave.
Meanwhile, all sorts of mean and nasty things are looking in on Tyler and BJ and Eric and Jeremy. They finally can see the clue box in the distance, but it is still a ways away. MoJo have found their didgeridoo player, and Joseph goes first, quickly mastering it. Monica is next and has troubles until Joseph tells her how to blow.
You know, sometimes the joke is hanging out there on a tee waiting to be hit. Those are the times it pays most to resist.
Finally Tyler and BJ and Eric and Jeremy get their clue. They have trouble finding the pitstop location on a map, and drive aimlessly for a bit.
At the same time, Ray and Yo have arrived at the stop. Phil tells them they are in first, then tells them they each get a year lease on a Mercedes identical to the one they have been driving. Ray asks if it is truly identical or if it will be the American version of the vehicle. Phil assures him the steering wheel will be on the appropriate side.
Cut to the other teams finally making it to the highway. Eventually, all three teams are lined up one after another, Eric and Jeremy first, Tyler and BJ second, MoJo third. Or, since Ray and Yo have already checked in, Eric and Jeremy second, Tyler and BJ third, MoJo fourth.
Each team realizes the need for a footrace from the parking lot to the mat. As we saw when Ray and Yo arrived, the path to the mat crosses a little footbridge. The teams park, jumping out of their cars. Eric and Jeremy take a lead, with BJ hot after them. Next is Jo, then Tyler, with Mo bringing up the rear.
Which is a switch from how things usually go with Mo.
But I digress.
At this point, all they need to do is arrive in this order and MoJo will be elim. Ahh, I can’t even kid myself. All they need to do is arrive in this order and MoJo will get the non-elimination penalty. But for some reason, when they reach the footbridge, BJ decides to skip the bridge and try to cross through the water. Maybe he thought he could pass the Eric and Jeremy, but still. This gains him no time, but instead allows Jo AND Mo to pass him. They take turns stepping on the mat, then Phil has all three teams stand in front of him like some Reunification Church ceremony. Phil pronounces their finish on a team by team basis, pausing after telling BJ and Tyler they were last before letting loose with a “I’m happy to tell you that you have not been eliminated.” They are once again forced to turn over their possessions (other than the ones they are wearing) and their money. We see that BJ has lost one shoe, and it is hard to tell if it is an ominous warning that he will have to race with only one shoe (I can see Mo saying that “He wasn’t wearing the shoe when he stepped on the mat”) or just a cool camera shot. I imagine the shoe is in the water that he tried in vain to cross in a hurry. In confessional we see BJ and Tyler say that losing their possessions helps them metamorph into something better.
Next time on The Amazing Race: Monkeys! Sweet! Everything goes better with monkeys! ¶ 4:40 PM
Comments:
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Dharma's a bitch? I thought she seemed rather nice, myself.
And yes, everything goes better with monkeys. Especially hot monkey sex. Not that I have that on the brain or anything.
Nice job, dood. As usual. I wish I had your flair and ease with words.
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And yes, everything goes better with monkeys. Especially hot monkey sex. Not that I have that on the brain or anything.
Nice job, dood. As usual. I wish I had your flair and ease with words.
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